to trust or not to trust posted by Narcissistic
| posted 43 days ago |
VIP Member
33 XP 8588 Posts |
Ok, so perhaps it's just me not seeing the logic behind it, or it just makes no sense anyway. I've noticed that alot of "new" members are actually old members and rather than the reasoning for leaving and coming back, being boredom, it's a relationship. "I used to be on here but I deleted when I was with (insert name -of sorts- here) and we're not together anymore so I'm back."
What amuses me the most is when these people meet on here and one or both quits because they are now dating. If you have to quit websites, friendships, hobbies or habits because you're dating someone, there's no trust there and they are dating you because you are who they want, they're dating you because they think they can make you into who they want.
This isn't a dating site so I don't understand why you would quit, just act appropriately if you haven't been. I've had some friends quit because they started dating someone, I miss those friends when they're gone but I don't think any haven't come back in some way. I guess what I'm trying to say right now is, if a relationship can't withstand the thought of you being on a site such as this one, perhaps that relationship isn't for you. If trust and control are issues from the start, there's really no point.
I've had boyfriends who asked me to stop doing things because they didn't think it was appropriate, I said no because I wasn't doing anything wrong and they needed to trust me. I had a boyfriend who called me to ask me if he could go out with his friend after work. I was completely caught by surprise and told him "Of course, you had friends before I came along. I don't expect you to ignore them. Why are you asking permission? Just don't wake me up when you get home"
Why do people think they have to drop everything they had when they start dating someone new? For those of you who have deleted for relationship purposes, why? I fail to see the logic so please explain it to me. For everyone else, please discuss lol
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| posted 43 days ago |
Moderator
Online
43 XP 33375 Posts |
if ya google spicepad it comes up as a dating site
is a FREE photo dating service for the rest of us. Best of all.it's FREE! Rate pictures and meet the person of your dreams today!") |
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| posted 43 days ago |
VIP Member
253 XP 843 Posts |
I never quit a site just because I'm dating someone. Either they like it or they don't. I think it's childish to quit a site just because you split up and you both are a member. The interwebs are big enough for everyone! My boyfriend is on the site and we manage just fine and make lots of laughs over it. My ex who is/was a member used to pull the whole "im leaving such and such site when we fight blah blah" and it drove me insane. This falls under those terms of are you an adult or not. |
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| posted 43 days ago |
VIP Member
33 XP 8588 Posts |
Really?! Well what the fuck? Brad you should have that changed, this is not a dating site, no wonder we have so many confused pervs and so many "dating site" type profiles.
As for being an adult or not, unfortunately so many kids hide behind an adult persona. I have an ex who wanted me to delete my private pics. So I did. 2 days later I had new ones up. I'm an adult, I can show strangers my naughty parts if I want to. the difference between showing and doing is alot of distance and trust. My thoughts are, every girl, and some boys, have boobs and vaginas, what's the big deal, it's not like these guys from places that aren't here are going to come up here and see it. PLUS when I was with that guy, only a handful of people had access Tammy was one of them Tammy.
When you're dating or married -that another thing that pisses me off, married guys parading around like single guys saying they want to hook up (especially when they're close enough to do so) and all kinds of stuff. Then you -as I sometimes do- put their email address in facebook rather than a messenger because you don't have a messenger open, or just for shit's and giggles, and it pops up with the person's profile, the fact that they're married and even who they're married to! then when you ask them about it they make it seem like no big deal and continue to tell you all the things they want to do to you. Personally, if a guy/girl wants to fuck up their relationship by fucking someone else, great, all the power to you. Just let the other person know you're in a relationship. I've fucked a married guy, but I got to make the decision for myself. The second time, the first time it was made for me. So what I'm saying, is make sure the 3rd party knows your in a relationship BEFOREHAND so they can make their own decisions. Very few people WANT to be a homewrecker, even less want to unintentionally/unknowingly be a homewrecker
I are a big girl! |
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| posted 43 days ago |
Moderator
Online
43 XP 33375 Posts |
i think of it as more a community site with forums and pic ratings,its only classed adult cuz of the nude pics we allow but not too many act as adults on here at times lol-hense the no chatroom |
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| posted 43 days ago |
VIP Member
33 XP 8588 Posts |
and all the bullshit drama. I can't believe how much of that there is!
Can we play like survivor and vote people off? I've got a couple I'd like to nominate.
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| posted 43 days ago |
VIP Member
253 XP 843 Posts |
I agree. If a relationship is doomed to fail from the start it will. God only knows I've learned that lesson. Michael and I have had this discussion MANY times on if we'd ever bring someone else into our relationship for fun. He knows what I'd be okay with and I know what he'd be okay with. As for the third, I'd lay it out perfectly for them the do's and don'ts. There has to be a lot of trust there to even accomplish such a thing.
I have some private pictures here and to date only three people have access, one being my boyfriend. He doesn't mind and has full access to any and all of my accounts if he does feel the need, I hide nothing from him just as i've never hid anything from any guy i've dated.
Having friends is a major plus, it gives you alone time. If you have 'flirty' friends, so be it, as long as it stays in that realm and its not being kept a secret. If you like the fantasy you're sharing, then share it with me. You never know it may be beneficial to you because I'll agree.
Some people just aren't cut out for having solid relationships and balancing 'internet life'. I still think it all boils down to trust and honesty. |
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| posted 43 days ago |
VIP Member
33 XP 8588 Posts |
I have a fantasy! Want me to share with you? lol
I wasn't meaning bringing in a third in a relationship for fun, I was meaning cheating on your (in)significant other with someone who doesn't know you have someone. Threesomes are fun but can make things weird. Foursomes are better because no one's ever left out.
I never hid anything from my exes, well nothing that concerned them at least lol One of my exes was always accusing me of cheating on him on here actually. He was stupidly jealous and a little obsessed really of Jordan (aka Skankslikeme) because Jordan and i used to spend hours talking. One day I left my yahoo on and open and he went through and read everything. Later, while we were driving he told me about it and acted like I left it open by accident and that I had been trying to hid things. I asked him what he found that was so bad, was there anything I said to make him think I was leaving? He said no and then a short argument which I won, ensued. Insecurity really fucks people up. FYI a couple months later I beat the guy and left. Jordan was right, I didn't want to be with him lol |
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